I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
