I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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