wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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