I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
