Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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