i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
