i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
