ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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