Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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