is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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