reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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