does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
