More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i was born a porn star she said
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
