Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
