peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
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swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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