I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My pussy is not your playground.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
