I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize