my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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