Small penises have feelings too.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
