That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
