Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We left the knife in your bed.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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