Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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