i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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