highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize