Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
