You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
