So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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