Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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