At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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