Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
