Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
