you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Semen is not good for contacts.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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