Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
