And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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