Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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