I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
