I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
another moral hangover. fuck.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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