dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
