i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
