it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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