You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
