It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
