I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
