It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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