I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
