Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
