So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Randomize
