Banned from zoo.
Again?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
