Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
