awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
