Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
