Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
