are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
