Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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