it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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