Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize