I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Randomize
