yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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