yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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