He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
