sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
