I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
