Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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