The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
