I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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