Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize